Why am I here again?

It's never an overnight thing

And it will never be.

Healing takes time. Healing doesn't need rushing. Healing doesn't work with deadlines.

Pain, sadness, anger, hurt, frustration, resentment, all of these emotions need to be processed.

Processing, accepting, forgiving and then letting go are the necessary steps to begin healing.

Healing can take a day, a week, a month or years. It's never linear.

You must radically acceptance where you are and how you feel. Valid your feelings and emotions, without judging yourself for feeling how you feel.

Forgive whomever or whatever needs to be forgiven... including yourself.

Accept that you will have good days and not-so-good days... and that it will be okay.

Understanding that it will not happen when you want it to happen, but when it’s ready to, is very important.

The Healing

As I sat there on the couch, eyes closed, tears rolling down my face, I let the emotions overwhelm me.

They came in waves... first the pain, then the hurt and finally the anger.

I sat and felt them... felt them deep.

It was uncomfortable, I wanted to stop, open my eyes, turn on the TV and just numb the feelings. But now I know running from my emotions will not help. So I sat with them and felt them.

I focused on my thoughts as I went through them.

• What was I thinking just before I started feeling the emotions arise?

• What am I thinking right now as I sit here?

• What's on my mind?

Once I recognised my thoughts, I started questioning them one by one.

• Was what I was thinking true? Yes or No?

If it was a no... I re-wrote the narrative my mind had formulated. I re-wrote the false thought with a more positive one.

And as I sat there and re-wrote all the negative and anxious thoughts... bit by bit the tightness on my chest and throat disappeared. The tears stopped rolling and my heart stopped pounding.

This is how I’ve learnt to deal with my emotions. This is how being emotionally aware and being able to self-regulate looks like.

Learning to this has been one of the best tools I've acquired in therapy.

Having the courage to sit in the pain, the discomfort and truly feel what you are feeling. Listening to what the emotions are communicating to you. But also questioning any thoughts that accompany anxiety.

To heal, you have to be very intentional about doing the work necessary. You have to decided that you don't like how it feels to be stuck in the same place and that you are going to heal no matter what it takes. You have to be willing to do the work.

It's not easy... believe me, it's not. But it's so worth it.

And as you learn these techniques, healing comes and so does growth.

And it's beautiful... even with the tears still rolling.

Love & light,
Christine

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