It’s no one’s responsibility but yours

Author

Christine Okello
July 24, 2024

It’s no one’s responsibility but yours

No one can force you into healing.

No one can ignite the process for you but you!

This is a hard pill to swallow, but as uncomfortable and unfair as it might seem or sound, it’s the truth.

I sat for years with wounds that were inflicted on me, waiting for apologies. I was waiting for the people who hurt me to make things right. I was waiting for the world to see my pain and feel sorry for me.

I longed for someone to acknowledge the victim that I was, a victim of this big bad world and the people in it.

I pitied myself and I wanted everyone else to sympathise with me.

My wounds were painful and deep, I hoped for someone, anyone to love me the right way, and see me the way I desired to be seen (as the victim). 

If only someone would say, ' I am so sorry, you’re such a good person and didn't deserve to be treated that way', then I’d feel better. And once I felt a bit better, I’d be healed and thrive.

I waited and longed for others to validate my pain for me.

It's all lies...

Stop lying to yourself.

No matter how many people tell you how much they feel sorry for you, how relieving their words might be in that moment, the work remains yours to do.

Don't fool yourself thinking others' validation will help you heal.

Don't be delusional and think that with time, and with others' hugs and kisses, the pain will go away.

Numbing the pain and sealing the wounds with mindless TV, pity parties, drinking and gossiping does nothing but delay your healing.

Healing takes work... hard, intentional work.

But it is so worth it!

The Healing

To start healing, you have to accept that you have a wound.

You have pain, hurt, anger, resentment and whatever other uncomfortable emotions you carry.

To heal, you have to decide to actively and intentionally do whatever you have to do to feel better. To take whatever necessary steps need to be taken to move from brokenness to fulfilled.

To heal you have to learn what needs to be learnt through emotional awareness. You need to connect to your feelings, validate them, feel them, and listen to them. You need to learn how to use them as guides to whatever part of you that still needs healing.

If you truly want to heal, you need to realise that even though you might not be responsible for the brokenness in you, the repair, that is the healing process, is your responsibility.

Journaling prompt:

  • What is one thing I can do today as a first step on my healing journey?

Love & light,
Christine

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