You are suffering because you want to

When you didn't choose suffering

There's nothing worse than pain, anger or regret that you can't seems to shake off. Some random days you wake up and all seems ok, other days you feel like you can't breathe.

Healing can be frustrating and beautiful at the same time. It all depends on your perspective.

If you keep looking back, replaying the actions that caused you pain over and over again, you simply stall your healing.

I know it's easier said than done, but true healing starts when;

  • you accept what was and what happened

  • you validate how you feel about what happened

  • you gently let go of it

Sometimes we wish a pill could be prescribed to heal overnight... but there isn't one.

We must put in the necessary work and acquire the right tools to help us through tough moments. Tools such as journaling your feelings, meditation, and going to therapy... have been instrumental in my journey so far.

But you want to

I came to realise I was so stuck in my cycle of misery because 'I wanted to'.

I don't mean it to come out as if I enjoyed it... not in the least!

For years, I've felt worthless, I've settled for things I never should have and I’ve been a suck-up and people pleaser. I realised that I was choosing to feel that way.

I was choosing to make others' priorities more important than mine.

I was choosing and entertaining the feelings of unworthiness.

It was all me.

No one ever forced me to please them or told me, to my face, that I was worthless... on the contrary!

For years I'd let my mind only magnify the negative sides of my life and diminished any positivity that came my way.

I had imprisoned myself in a whirlpool of self-pity, self-loath, comparison, depression... you name it!

Until I read the book 'The Heart of The Soul' by Gary Zukav & Linda Francis. Along with therapy, I started to put in the work and become emotionally aware.

The Healing

When you didn't choose the suffering, but you want it, is my way of encouraging you to open your eyes to reality;

  • only YOU have control of how you feel

  • only YOU can decide how to react to what happened and for how long

  • and only YOU can decide when you've suffered enough and want to proactively seek healing

When you realise that every bit of it depends on you, you'll know the only 2 options that exist for you; let go and heal or hold on and suffer.

Now this next part is where it gets even better...

Once you choose to let go and heal (which is the option I strongly recommend), invite God to walk with you! Believe me, you will not be able to do this journey alone.

It's a journey that will have a lot of ups and downs. Most of the time it's the decision to surrender it all to God and know that He is with you and for you. He alone will give you the strength to face a new day.

Journaling prompt:

How am I allowing my suffering to affect my healing? Is there something I need to let go of to truly start my healing?

Love & light,
Christine

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P.P.S

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